Weather Perfect throughout
Glow Worm Goobers field 2 Bribes and 2 Bloodweiser Babes. 2,000 medieaval peasants and 3,000 gibbering goblins turn up to watch the match.
T1: The Arthurians kick off to the Goobers, who instantly form a cage around the Pogoer Funguy.
T2: The Looney nearly loses his grip on the chainsaw but manages to knock Elaine down with it.
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T3: The game devolves into a messy brawl in the centre, rather as the Cycle's last encounter with Goblins did. The two trolls keep Mordred the Ogre pinned to the scrim line.
T4: Goblin 13 [not yet named] knocks Lancelot down with a nasty low blow and puts him in the medical tent for the rest of the game. The Looney tries to repeat his attack on Elaine and gets his own weapon in the face, stunning him.
T5: Mordred the Ogre blocks Goblin 7 and both go down; to his enormous embarrassment Mordred is knocked out!
T6: A series of handling slips leaves the ball on the grass dangerously close to the Goobers' touchline.
T7: Gazing hungrily after it, Lancelot fails to see [a troll] in time and is knocked out.
T8: Lady Elaine goes in hard against [a goblin lineman] and both go down. The goblin doesn't get up again and is hauled off the field for the day.
T1: The Goobers kick to the Cycle, the ball hitting the ground in the Goobers' half but just bouncing back across the line to be scooped up by King Arthur. He belts off up the left side to trapdoor level, where he's mobbed by goblins and divested of the ball. The ref objects to something and knocks a few players about.
T2: [Troll 12] fumbles his Projectile Vomit and spreads it down the front of his own trousers, a Stunning shock!
T3: A gap opens, and Galahad grabs the ball and dashes up to Elaine, bundling it into her hands and allowing her to sprint over the line. Touchdown!
T4: The Cycle kick off again, and Funguy the Pogoer fails his pickup leaving the ball horribly close to his zone. Mordred the Ogre, back on the pitch after recovering, takes the moment to try and foul a felled goblin; not only does his stamp miss, but the referee sees it and despite Merlin's eloquent pleas the ogre is sent off.
T5: After three bobbles the ball settles into Funguy's hands. Down the field, [Troll] attempts to launch a blitz but can't remember why he was supposed to do it.
T6: Goblin 6 attempts to block Galahad, who bitch-slaps him back and kills him outright!
T7: The Cycle desperately try and form a wall near the scrim line - fatal error as Funguy punches through to get beyond their reach with the Cycle touchline beckoning.
T8: Galahad is the only Cycle player with a hope of reaching the bouncing goblin. With a cry of "Our Lady of the Lake fail me not nowe!" he hurls himself after Funguy, in a GFI/Blitz move that comes to grief adjacent to the ball-carrier with Gally flat on his face. Funguy hops over the line - Touchdown!
The Cycle kick off again and acquire the ball - there's not time to get it up the field. They try and batter a couple more goblins for the kill points and Bors falls on his tassets, ending the game a one-all draw.